Autism in girls: what we might be missing

The early years is a crucial time for noticing how children experience the world. For some girls with autism, however, their needs can be overlooked because they appear to be managing more than boys with the same anxieties, often through observing and copying other children or masking their difficulties.

When children are not disruptive, their needs can easily be missed, which can delay recognition and access to appropriate support. It is important to recognise that ‘coping’ does not always mean a child is comfortable.

Supporting girls with autism in their early years is not about applying a label; it's about identifying and responding to their needs with curiosity and compassion.

The key to early recognition is observing how a child functions day to day and identifying where they are quietly struggling. For educators, what can be read as shyness or contentedness could be anxiety-driven compliance. For example, a girl may sit beautifully during group time but rarely initiate play.

Some girls with autism may appear calm while quietly working hard to manage their environment by observing other children. This presentation may be linked to early masking behaviours, where girls instinctively adapt to social expectations to fit in, avoid negative attention or manage overwhelm.

This can differ from the more visible presentations educators may traditionally associate with boys, meaning girls may appear quiet, compliant or socially engaged while still experiencing significant internal distress.

Some girls may seem content throughout the morning but become tearful or irritable later in the session. Subtle signs of overwhelm as the day progresses may present as withdrawal, increased tiredness, becoming very still or avoiding interaction.

When quieter presentations are overlooked, opportunities for early identification and support can be missed. Children may not receive the support they need until difficulties become more visible and over time this can impact the child’s confidence, wellbeing and sense of self.

While boys with autism may display more obviously repetitive or solitary play patterns, girls may be more likely to observe and copy peers closely to blend into group play. For example, a girl may follow a peer’s play closely, copying their ideas and actions.

While carefully following another child’s lead, girls with autism may become unsettled when the other child changes the game or introduces something new. Difficulties moving between activities can present as repeatedly taking on the same role within imaginative play or showing distress during tidy-up time. During these transitions, they may become noticeably slower, lingering with objects, avoiding eye contact or needing repeated prompts to respond.

Seeing a child absorbed in play is a joy, but we must be aware of those who rely on the direction of other children, engage in prolonged imaginative activities or display signs of distress during transitions.

When a child shows signs of internal overwhelm or difficulty navigating transitions, early years educators can use the following techniques:

• Use clear, comforting language such as “That felt a bit tricky” or “Let’s have a little break”.
• Use visual supports of the day ahead or a ‘now and next’ board to show what is happening throughout the day.
  
• Give gentle warnings before transitions, such as “Two more minutes, then we’ll tidy up”.
  
• Allow time for children to settle after busy or socially demanding activities. For example, after group time or busy play, give children a few minutes in a quiet space, avoid asking them questions and reduce the expectation to immediately engage in the next activity.
  
• Reduce the pressure around interactions and scaffold side-by-side play with no expectations for joining in or leading. Use affirmative language like “You can play here next to them” or “You don’t have to join in straight away”.
  
• Offer structured activities that build on the child’s strengths.
  
• Limit choices to reduce cognitive load.
  
• Where possible, provide a consistent key adult who can build trust with the child, recognise subtle changes in presentation and respond consistently to emerging needs.
  

When quieter presentations are overlooked, opportunities for early identification and support can be missed.

Talking to families, sharing observations and being curious about their child’s home learning environment is an essential part of early years practice.

Collaborative discussions with families allow educators to support each child’s unique development in a way that is appropriate for them. This can make a significant difference to a child’s confidence, wellbeing and long-term experience of education.

By encouraging early dialogue and shared understanding, educators can give children access the right support at the right time.

It is often the children who appear to be coping well who need a closer look. By recognising early indicators of autism, how it presents in girls and responding thoughtfully, educators can support timely access to the right help.

This support may well be possible within the setting with small adaptations throughout the day, or it may be that specialist support is sought outside of the provision.

Whichever route is appropriate, early support can have a meaningful and lasting impact on a child’s development, their sense of self and their enduring engagement in education now and in the future.